April 20th, 2012

Call for Caregiver Nominations – Alzheimer’s Whisperer

Is there a caregiver in your life who is providing the kind of care that deserves recognition?

Is there an Alzheimer’s Whisperer amidst your staff?

The Caregiver’s Voice is inviting nominations for the Caregiver of the Month of June.

Sheri Zoscher TCV's Caregiver of the Month with a Heart of Gold with Gifts

Sheri Zoscher, TCV's Caregiver of the Month wearing her Heart of Gold Necklace with other gifts. (Click on photo)

Sheri Zschocher was surprised when she earned recognition as The Caregiver’s Voice Caregiver of the Month with a Heart of Gold.

Sheri Zschocher receives the Heart of Gold Certificate

Click on photo

She was gifted a Heart of Gold necklace and a copy of Award Winning Novelist Robin Lee Hatcher‘s book by the same name. Sheri is also holding a Flowers DVD from our 2012 partner, PersonCare.net.

To Nominate The Caregiver’s Voice next Caregiver of the Month click on this link for your quick and easy guidelines.

 

Brenda Avadian, MA
Alzheimer’s / Dementia Caregiver, Expert Spokesperson, Coach, and Author
Editor, TheCaregiversVoice monthly Newsletter and The Caregiver’s Voice Book Review

April 19th, 2012

CAREGIVER Support ‘n FUN – Join Us!

JOIN US next week Sunday, April 29th for an hour of Surviving, Thriving, and Finding JOY in Caregiving.

Jay Kraker of The Empowered Caregiver Network hosts a monthly virtual support group for caregivers.

After attending a few sessions, Jay invited me to be his guest this month.

We’ll CRY TEARS of JOY as we dive into the challenges of caregiving.
First-hand accounts will unveil real solutions.

Bring your TEARS, your LAUGHTER, and your FEARS. We’re here! 
– Brenda Avadian, MA

VIRTUAL SUPPORT GROUP SESSION

After you register, you’ll receive a number to call.
I will be interviewed by Jay for about 20 minutes, so you can get an idea of who I am.
Then the lines are opened for general questions and comments.
After 10 minutes, Jay will divide attendees into smaller groups in order to address your specific issues.
Like all support groups–we will help one another, learn from each other, and Find the JOY!

JOIN US next Sunday afternoon for sharing wisdom, inspiration, and JOY.

If you don’t feel uplifted at the end of this call, it’s because you weren’t there!
– Brenda Avadian, MA

Register (free) at (click on) The Empowered Caregiver Network.Brenda Avadian

MARK YOUR CALENDAR NOW to participate April 29th at 4pmET (3pmCT / 1pmPT).

Register now!

Brenda Avadian, MA
Alzheimer’s / Dementia Caregiver, Expert Spokesperson, Coach, and Author
Editor, TheCaregiversVoice monthly Newsletter and The Caregiver’s Voice Book Review

Click on the following to read Jay Kraker’s answer to an Ask The Caregiver’s Voice question about Handling Negative Caregiving Emotions

 

April 18th, 2012

Ask TCV – What am I doing wrong?

A caregiver writes:

Why do I feel so tired and feel bad that I am tired. I have been taking care of my husband for over a year and a half, I have not had any help … Maybe you can tell me what I am doing wrong.
Read the rest of the (unedited) question with comments below.

TCV answers:

When I read your words below what repeats in my mind is:

YOU NEED A RESPITE … or else!

You are doing nothing wrong unless caring too much is wrong. You care and you’re trying to fill your husband’s needs.

Yet, you are being overwhelmed and overburdened and if you don’t take time to get away — even for an afternoon, I doubt you’ll be able to provide care for long, much less survive.

Too many caregivers die before their loved ones.

Do you want to be one of them?  What will all your effort be worth then?

Check into adult day care for your husband and a support group for you.

The drive into town one day a week will be worth it. Your survival is worth it! He can go as a “volunteer” or to “work.” Use whatever explanation you need to persuade him unless he is clearly aware. (We focus mostly on dementia and loss of cognition at TheCaregiversVoice.com.)

Think of caregiving like running a marathon — 26.2 miles. You need support along the way (for water, fruit, and even bathroom breaks). You can’t do it alone. Read the rest of this entry »

April 16th, 2012

5 Tips to becoming an Alzheimer’s Whisperer

First there was The Horse Whisperer then The Dog Whisperer and The Ghost Whisperer. I wonder when we will see The Cat Whisperer. Oh wait, there’s Jackson Galaxy. And now, there’s a unique individual in the world of dementia–The Alzheimer’s Whisperer. Providing guilt-free quality care, this person balances life with caregiving … better than most of us.

The Alzheimer’s Whisperer has the unique ability to communicate with, care for, and comfort a person with Alzheimer’s while preserving her/her own well-being.

The Alzheimer’s Whisperer (AP) demonstrates five keys to caregiving:

1. Know How

The AP learns as much as possible about Alzheimer’s from organizations like the Alzheimer’s Association, the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America, Caring.com, and the National Family Caregivers Association. The AP gains wisdom by participating in support groups, educational offerings, and online chats. If time is limited (due to work or other activities), the AP reads books and informational materials in order to know what to expect.

2. Compassion

With knowledge, the AP is better able to accept the reality of a loved one’s condition. The AP exhibits greater compassion while coping with disruptive behaviors and anticipating needs.

5 KEYS to becoming The Alzheimer’s Whisperer (AP)

1. KNOW HOW

2. COMPASSION

3. COMMITTED

4. EMPATHY

5. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

 

3. Committed

The AP is committed to providing quality care, despite intermittent tears and joys. The AP takes advantage of the continuum of care Read the rest of this entry »

April 12th, 2012

Virtual Support Group – Mark Your Calendars

The last Sunday of every month, Jay Kraker of Empowered Caregivers, hosts a virtual support group for caregivers across the U.S.

Jay has been a caregiver for more than 30 years for his wife who suffers unpredictable moments of memory loss and can focus only on one thing at a time resulting from MS. Click on the link at the end of this article for Jay Kraker’s guest post on TheCaregiversVoice.com.

MARK YOUR CALENDARS NOW to participate April 29th at 4pmET (3pmCT / 1pmPT).

Click on links below for more information and to register.

TOPIC: Surviving, Thriving, and Finding JOY in Caregiving

Expert: Brenda Avadian, MA

Visit The Empowered Caregiver Network to register.

After you register, you’ll receive a number to call. You’ll hear the expert speak (be interviewed by Jay) for 20 – 30 minutes before the lines are opened for questions and comments. After 10 or 15 minutes, Jay will divide attendees into smaller groups in order to address the issues each caregiver has.

Bring your IDEAS, your WOES, your LAUGHTER, your TEARS…we’re here! 
– Brenda Avadian, MA

It’ll be a Sunday afternoon of sharing wisdom, inspiration, and JOY.

If you don’t leave the 60 – 75-minute call feeling uplifted, it’s because you weren’t there!
– Brenda Avadian, MA

Register now!

Click on the following to read Jay Kraker’s answer to a question to The Caregiver’s Voice about Handling Negative Caregiving Emotions

 

April 10th, 2012

TCV Book Review – Solace

SolaceSOLACE–How Caregivers and Others can Relate, Listen, and Respond Effectively to a Chronically Ill Person, by Walter St. John, EdD.

Solace offers a wealth of information that at first pass might intimidate the overwhelmed caregiver.

However, if the book is used as a resource guide for specific communication tips and strategies, busy caregivers will find it of value.

As a caregiver for my mom with breast cancer and a volunteer for several organizations, I benefit most when the tips are easily accessible.

In “Responding to Repetitive Statements,” author St. John writes, “It is a bad idea to merely ignore and dismiss repetitive comments or questions. Such a reaction is unkind and lacks compassion.” (Chapter 57, page 260)

Reading this inspires me to discover the real issue behind a statement Mom routinely repeats, “It’s a pain.”

When I ask her, “What hurts?” she replies, “Nothing hurts.”

I’m beginning to believe her “pain” comment means that her cancer is more of a nuisance, now.

 

Another example of tips that are easily accessible is in “Being Humorous” (Chapter 37, page 169), where St. John observes, “Shared laughter creates a feeling of togetherness.” And he adds, “Laughter is healing — it makes all people feel better.”

Oh joy! Even if it seems ghoulish to others, all our laughing about illness and death is good for both of us; so, Mom and I will keep on laughing.

The more time I spend looking through the pages of Solace, the better suited it seems as a Read the rest of this entry »

April 6th, 2012

TCV Inspiration – Validation Video

This Validation Video on YouTube is an oldie but goodie about the power of a smile. It begins when you get your ticket validated for free parking.

Click on the box (or link) below to play the video seen by over 6.5 million viewers.

 

Validation is a fable about the magic of free parking.

Winner of awards at film festivals across the U.S.
Validation stars TJ Thyne and Vicki Davis.
Writer/Director/Composer – Kurt Kuenne.

Director / Composer, Kurt Kuenne is currently screening a new movie about waking up a different age each day.  Imagine that! For more information or to see the trailer click on Shuffle The Movie.

April 4th, 2012

Too Much Information Too Little Time

Up until 1960s, my Pen Pals and I would mail handwritten letters to each other.

In sixth grade, I received a set of felt-tipped colored pens. These were magical in that I now could express emotions through different colored highlights and designs. 

My penpals (used as one word, today) complimented me on my penmanship. I wrote almost perfectly,  just like the white script letters on the green cards that used to line the tops of school  chalkboards across America.

Back then, I couldn’t wait to get a letter from one of my pals. They’d use fancy stationary with pretty designs, something I never had.

Time moved a bit slower forty years ago and we were more patient.

We had to be.

Remember party lines?

Five families shared one phone line.

If you wanted to make a call, you’d lift the receiver and if someone was already talking on the line, you’d quietly hang-up and try again later. If there was an emergency, you’d ask the caller on the line if s/he could hang-up so that you could make your call.

Try explaining a shared line to your teen who’s busy talking on the phone, while playing a game or surfing the Internet using a tablet.

Remember looking forward to the mailman who carried the big blue bag on his shoulder as he walked up and down the block of your neighborhood dropping letters in each box? You were lucky if you got mail more than several times a week.

What happened?

Those not-so-long-ago quaint times existed while the world’s population was only 3.5 billion. Today, twice as many of us are trying to drink from a fire hose delivering a thousand times more information.

The world is moving fast and TIME is our only fixed income, so it must be spent wisely and multiplexed when possible.

I read somewhere that all the information from the year 0 to 2000 is what we receive each week! My figures may not be exact, but that’s because there is so much information to remember. And if I wrote it down, where would I find it when I needed it?

It’s no wonder we fear forgetting and Alzheimer’s! Look at all that information we need to remember!

Consider that a family of four today likely has five or more phone numbers (four cell, work, landline, and fax).

Instead of 5 families sharing one phone, we went right through a worm hole into another dimension of too much information — one family has 5 phones!

Today, not only do we get daily mail from our mail carrier (half of it we don’t want or need), we also receive eMails to our one, two, or three eMail addresses. To keep track of all the eMails I receive, I have six eMail addresses. We receive text messages on our phones, FaceBook comments, Tweets, LinkedIn updates, and still the occasional fax.

There’s just too much information…and too little time.

Read the rest of this entry »

April 1st, 2012

TCV’s Caregiver of the Month – Sheri Zschocher

TCV's Caregiver of the Month with a Heart of Gold - Sheri Zschocher  CONGRATULATIONS Sheri Zschocher for being recognized as The Caregiver’s Voice Caregiver of the Month with a Heart of Gold!

Sheri has been an open and honest example of how to share the [highs and lows] of life. Her openness has encouraged those who are going through difficulty to share their own experiences. She has also made it clear that, though her experience is painful and difficult, it is not insurmountable; that finding hope and promise in the small things of life are what brings true joy! She has been an inspiration to me!  –  Nominated by Susan Richter

Sheri shares her experiences openly and lets other people know they are not alone, which gives them strength. She seems to be highly thought of given the number of nominations she received.  — Former Caregiver for Father in Law and CotM Selection Committee Member

Sheri’s brother writes:

Sheri Zschocher is my sister. Growing up, Sheri was always the most social member of the family, able to make friends and relate to others with tremendous ease. She valued relationships above almost everything else in her life.

It is that love of relationships that makes her story most poignant, since it is the nature of her relationship with her husband, Robert that has been her biggest challenge in life. Robert was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s four years ago. He had exhibited symptoms for quite some time before, but those signs had not been interpreted correctly.

While dealing with her own health issues, Sheri became Robert’s caregiver as his symptoms made it impossible for him to continue working. Sheri then became the breadwinner for her family while raising two beautiful daughters.Sheri and Bob Zschocher Wedding

If that weren’t enough, two years ago, our mother was involved in a car accident, which left her paralyzed from the waist down. Sheri immediately came from her home in Minnesota to San Antonio to help my father and me navigate the maddening world of modern health care. Her help, both emotionally and pragmatically, was invaluable to Dad and me.

There were so many good things shared in the nominations of Sheri. But I couldn’t help, as a writer, keying in on the blog she writes to help others walking this same journey. I spent some time reading the entries, and I concur with those who nominated Sheri. She deserves to win the Heart of Gold.   –  Author and CotM Selection Committee Member

As an outlet, Sheri created a blog, Living with Bob and ‘Al’ [her husband, Bob and the other person in the room, Al for Alzheimer's], where she shares her experiences through clever, original, and often heartbreaking stories and poems. These blog entries have provided comfort and encouragement to many others who are dealing with Alzheimer’s patients.

The fact that Alzheimer’s has robbed her of one of her most precious relationships is heartbreaking enough. Read the rest of this entry »

March 29th, 2012

Ask The Caregiver’s Voice – Support Groups for Men?

Eugene (Gene) Conrad, facilitator for a men’s caregiver support group, asked The Caregiver’s Voice if we knew of any other all-male caregiver support groups for Alzheimer’s disease.

After contacting membership organizations who would be in the position to know about or run support groups, I replied to Gene that I was not able to come up with any more than the two all-male support groups Gene and I were already aware of.

It’s surprising, considering there are twice as many male caregivers than reported 15 years ago. Today, male caregivers comprise 40% of all caregivers.

Men still have a hard time asking for help.

Over the years, I’ve served as a guest facilitator at support groups across the U.S.; yet, only once did I facilitate a support group for all males.

Look around, the next time you’re in a support group. How many men are attending versus women?

I usually find about 10%–only 1 in 10 support group attendees are men.

Gene also wrote that he was “looking for articles and books that focus on male caregivers of AD patients to help [him] as a caregiver and facilitator via the Alzheimer’s Association to identify others like myself.”

Despite being a rare presence, men offer a unique perspective on caring for a loved one and I believe both men and women can benefit from each other’s approaches to caregiving.

I kept both of Gene’s requests; because I could not accept that there were only two caregiver support groups for men in the United States.

It was months since Gene and I corresponded. I asked representatives of organizations again. Read the rest of this entry »